Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
