Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They took my balls.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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