when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
