and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize