look no pants
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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