Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
