I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
