It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
