Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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