id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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