apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
