3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can text with my tongue
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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