The maid of honor just puked.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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