you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
