i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
