what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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