I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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