You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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