Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
