i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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