Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
