Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

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(425): View more from Washington

I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have edible shot glasses at target.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

There really is a God.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.

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(734): View more from Michigan

welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT

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