just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
