I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
