Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
