ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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