This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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