Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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