she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
