yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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