You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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