He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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