tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
