Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize