who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
