After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
