Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
