please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
