Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
