he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize