Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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