so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize