I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize