the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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