If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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