I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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