Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
