Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
