Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
