He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
