mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
His nipple licking is glorious
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