my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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