We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
