At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
