and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
