Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
