Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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