are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
