i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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