i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
