is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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