This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
