Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How does one acquire holy water?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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