Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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