yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
